Talk is cheap. I’m sure this is a phrase we’ve all heard and something we have all been guilty of. Saying things we don’t mean or don’t intend to follow through on. Apologising without meaning what we say. Speaking without resolution is easy, but in lacking resolution, those you speak to will begin to lose their trust in you.
This was a key talking point in session four of Saroca’s LeadHERship program. How do we make sure we mean what we say? How do we make sure, when we make a commitment to do something, we can follow through?
Domains of trust
In the workplace, what makes you trust your colleagues, your leaders? What makes you become distrusting of someone’s words or actions? Course leaders Emily Leeb and Claire Adamou suggest that there are six domains of trust; six ways we trust or can have our trust broken.
A commitment is something we do regardless of how we feel. It is something we persevere with no matter the circumstances, even when it is no longer fun
Consider reliability. Have you ever known a person, personally or professionally, who makes promises they never keep? The boss that says they will speak to a higher-up about that raise you asked for and never do? The friend who says they will be at social events and never comes? A lack of reliability can erode our trust in a person – eventually, we will stop asking them entirely.
An erosion of trust is the last thing we want as leaders. After all, how can you lead a team when no one can trust you to see it through?
Responding powerfully
Following on from the previous session, the idea of answering questions with a yes, no or counteroffer returned. If we want to mean what we say, we must fully understand what we are saying and committing to. If you want to maintain trust, clearly communicating your ability to complete a task is a must.
Talk actually isn’t cheap; we simply cheapen talk by breaking our word, Leeb explained. When all we are is a memory, our word is our legacy.
As such, we must ensure we mean what we say and say what we mean. Of course, we are human, we make mistakes and will have occasions when we break the trust of others, but we must endeavor to patch things up.
Commitment vs mood
Here was an interesting thought. How many times have you committed to something, told yourself you’ll do something, only to give up when your mood fails to match your drive? The amount of times I have told myself I will develop my proficiency in a skill or commit myself to a healthy habit, only to let things slide once I lose interest or experience a change in circumstances, is hard to count.
A commitment is something we do regardless of how we feel. It is something we persevere with no matter the circumstances, even when it is no longer fun.
An erosion of trust is the last thing we want as leaders. After all, how can you lead a team when no one can trust you to see it through?
I know I have had times where I felt, in telling myself the commitment was the latter, I would be able to achieve it. But underneath it all, it was a commitment made on a mood – they were never designed to last.
Food for thought for my New Year’s resolutions.
What did I learn?
While I am aware of the domains of trust that matter most to me (and the ones I personally need to develop), the question of how others perceive my word has got me thinking. Which of the domains of trust do I find myself breaking? How can I improve that?
Assessing yourself and developing the emotional intelligence to assess your behaviour has been a key part of the course and a key skill leaders need, to better themselves and thus their teams.
Now, I just have to put it all into action.
